Doodling & Drawing
Colors as Our Guides: ORANGE
Written & Illustrated by elinap
In 2018 I’ll explore daily doodling with different hues of ink on paper.
In May I chose to ink with orange.
Here’s What Happened…
Orange color took me on a journey into feelings. At first in the beginning of the month I was drawn to doodle about feeling that I have, do and am enough and right after that a story started to pour out of my pen. A story about the path to surrendering to feel more.
And as always it brings back memories and helps me see the bigger picture, so here’s a little story from my past…
I read a column today about a man who had healed his migraines of 30 years by starting to do things that bring him joy. And suddenly it all clicked together for me. I remembered my own healing journey – I had headaches from 12 years old, first once a week then more often until at 17 years old they turned into weekly migraines (with the headaches to accompany them on the other days).
They were very intensive until two years later I decided that I no longer wanted them. I paused, turned inward and listened on how to heal them myself. (I knew I had the power and didn’t count on doctors anymore on this as they hadn’t managed to help me so far.)
I looked back and saw that I didn’t have migraines on holidays and thought that it must mean that they were coming from something I did. So I listened even more deeply and heard my heart whisper that I needed to do things I love, just like I did on holidays.
There and then I prioritized my heart over my other expectations of how life “should” be.
I asked myself what had brought me joy in the past and found out three things: Nature, Creativity and Children. Those were something I had always returned to when I felt depleted and needed to feel more pure joy. So I decided to dedicate my life and my studies (I was choosing which school to go to after high school) to these three things and have been following my joy ever since.
Doodling with orange opened my eyes to see that I easily forget about my soul path, even though I’m steadily walking on it and then start stumbling when I let my ego yell louder. That’s when I begin to listen to my ego’s dream and to struggle that I’m not like “others”. Luckily something in life always comes in and pauses me at this point and I’m reminded to look around and see that in truth I have been consistent with listening to my heart and that I have gotten my dreams come true many times – The ones that my soul wants.
So this month I’ve been questioning my ego’s toys with the doodle story I drew: My (over)thinking cap, my super woman cape, the whip I use to beat myself up and the measuring stick that shows I’m never enough. Using them doesn’t bring me migraines anymore, my migraines are mostly gone – the ones I have once or twice a year have more to do with hormones now. Those toys haven’t lead me away from creativity nor listening to my heart. But I only use them when I start comparing myself to the famous “others” – to the myth of a person who has it all together better than me.
And I’m on it now!
My Ego’s Dream
My ego’s long-term dream has been to create an income for me, like actual money flowing into my own bank account. So I’ve been studying money skills and entrepreneurship, but the result as now is that less and less money comes in, my offers are declined left and right and I’m asked to illustrate things for free, for the promise of more exposure. Of course that’s where I draw my boundaries and observe this as what it can teach me about where I am right now. I realized something’s off and this is again about the battle between ego and soul.
How to Tell the Difference between Your Ego’s Dream and Soul’s?
When I’m dreaming for my ego I feel like I would need to study more and have more certificates. I feel lack. I desire more exposure, followers, money and power. It makes me feel like I’m still very far from what I dream of.
When my dreams spring from my soul it’s has everything to do with what I already am, have done in the past and have. I have always believed in it and it makes me feel deep joy. It’s all about returning to the core of my being.
So when I notice I’ve been off track, I pause and observe it all as a sign to start doing things differently. If what I’ve been doing, thinking and being so far has resulted in this, I need to start doing, thinking and being something else to get new results.
I decided to first drop my ego’s dream and look around to see the abundance I live in. Also to take note on how far I’ve come.
Practicing money skills taught me to save and get organized with my money (Link to my Money Love doodles in Pinterest), konmaring my stuff (Link to my Konmari doodles in Pinterest) taught me to live with less and consume consciously which supports my values about ecological living, all the courses I’ve taken have taught me thousands of skills, not to mention what drawing and blogging daily for more than four years has done.
I am excited to start doodling yellow, because that is the color of clear boundaries and so. I also have other action planned already to help me pause, retreat inward to look for the answers and connect to my core.
I don’t need to have, do or be anything more. I just need to pause and breathe.
“But…” says my ego “They say that you ought to serve the world with what you know and the more money you have the more you can serve the world and help others. Keep dreaming of more money, please, then you could add happiness to so many people’s lives!”
“That’s true, ego” I answer “If I had money, I could pursue my message out there more, but…” (I do have as many but’s as my ego)
“…But what’s the haste? What if there’s a reason for all this beyond your understanding? Maybe I’m meant to walk my path like this, maybe I’m meant to heal myself first, find my voice and true colors first. Maybe I’m still looking for my rainbow and how to express myself. So don’t you rush me. I trust in divine timing.”
What’s Orange About?
Our orange chakra is right below our belly on our lower tummy, where the womb is for creating new, for dreaming and realizing the dreams. It is the center of our emotions, for planting seeds.
So dream big, laugh, cry and love out loud and you’ll feel your life force awaken.
How is your relationship with orange?
Have you identified your Soul’s dream?
Add more orange in your life if you want to FEEL it!
I’d love to hear from you – Comment below
And let’s share our journey!
In June I’ll be doodling with yellow!
© 2019 elinap - Elina Puohiniemi