Doodling & Drawing
The Burning Midlife Question
Written & Illustrated by elinap
When I was 20 I saw many forty year old ladies burning with a question of who are they..
They were mothers, they were employees, they had studied, worked hard, raised a family and now
Stopped to think when the dust had settled from the busy years of their lives.
Many ended up studying a new career and making huge changes in their lives.
I adored them, but simultaneously thought to myself that I want to be different:
I wanted to never forget who I am or at least find out about it before I turned fourty.
Well, see what happened.. I ended up studying furiously and digging deeper and deeper
into who I really am. So I can say I made it!
(Well, I still have a couple of years before I turn 40..)
But just the other day I realized, I didn’t make it..
I do have a question
And lately it has been a burning one.
“What am I worth?”
What is a person worth who knows who she is,
but haven’t lived a life like others?
What is a person worth whose success is nowhere near to be
measured with how much she makes or how far she has climbed a corporate ladder?
Well.. I asked this question and started drawing Mira.
She looked into a mirror and as I colored..
A familiar answer started to pour out of my pen as color on my screen..
You are enough just the way you are.
Your worth is not measured with money nor fame,
It’s not measured even with how many other souls you touch..
Because none of that is the ultimate answer.
The answer is the same as it is to the other burning question people
who have taken a different route with traditional measuring stick ask themselves.
(Yep, there’s no escaping finding this answer, no matter what you ask..)
And the answer is: You are love.
Annoyingly simple – Like the solution to any struggle is to breathe.
I colored on and the words formed themselves on the doodle.
I felt so relieved.
I realized I had built up human drama again just to find this answer.
Because I tend to forget it.
Thank you Mira for taking me back to love again!