Creates Illustrations & Books
Q & Doodle
Ask me about love and life and spiritual growth and I'll answer you with a doodle!
I'm currently busy doodling other things, but hit me with a juicy Q if you got one & I'll see what I can do!
“What do you do if you love someone you can’t be with?”
Written & Illustrated by elinap
Thank you! This is a wonderful Q!
At first I thought, there needs to be a definition on who this someone is & what kind of relationship you have, but then I realized – Love is love and this is not about who the other one is, but who you become.
The answer I’m about to give here, also answers to the other deep desires we have whether you are lacking on anything you love (yet). Be it a person, a pet or even money.
Here’s Three Things You Can Do
Ask your heart to tell their heart Hi!
They will hear and feel it with their heart.
When You Are in a Place You’d Like to Share With Them – Imagine You Two Together
For example I dream of a dog of my own and take my imaginary dog for walks. I know I will have a dog of my own one day, just that the timing isn’t right yet. I know it will happen and so I’ve decided to feel joyful and excited when thinking of my dog.
I can’t be with it yet, but I’m already in love with it with all my heart.
On a deeper level, you can see how we are all one, there is no time nor space in between us – So in truth you are with your loved one all the time.
Become the One You Love to Be With
I hope this is not your case, but I’ve been there so I’ll add this into the answer too… If you are filled with grief and bitterness for not being able to be together now, look deeper into what needs you have.
What needs would being together with the someone you love fill in you?
Is your life on hold, what are you waiting for?
What are you not allowing yourself to feel, because you maybe have set a condition that you need to first be together, then you can feel xxxx?
What expectations are you loading on the someone you love?
How can you give it to yourself?
For me spending time with a dog is about joy and laughter and spending time in the forest. So I go for walks, I look around and laugh at the funny things I see and I also talk a lot to the dog owners I meet because funnily enough, their dogs wait for me as if I already had a dog with me.
When I woke up to ask this question about the needs I have and what I’m expecting a dog to fulfill for me, I noticed I had a long list of needs that I thought only a dog would help me fulfill. I really don’t want to tax a dog with such a list so I started to peel it one layer at a time to what I really want. And that is what you just read above. That and all those other needs I could easily fulfill myself, for example the need to go for walks. I don’t need a dog to do that, but of course when I meet my dog in the future, it will add to my life even more joy and laughter and forest walks.
Your precious someone is deep down an outer expression of love, an expression of the same love that you are. When you know the need you need, you can start to look for the ways to give it to yourself.
Give yourself all those needy, taxing needs that you can from your list and then have pure love spring from inside you. You can feel whole without having to have the outer expressions of your love with you all the time.
Then when you start to feel whole and fulfilled, you may be surprised how suddenly everything aligns and then you are with a someone you love.
Because isn’t that what draws us together – Our wholeness?
I hope this gave you insights, a-has or even relief!
Now I’d love to hear from you:
Is there something in your life you can’t be with,
Although you’d love to?
How are you dealing with it?